Breaking Dawn, Edward's POV
by forever.dawnnn
Summary: Please read disclaimer before proceeding at the start of Ch. 1! The day has come for Edward to be joined to his forever love. All of his doubts and fears and anxieties accumulating to one titanic point. So many questions unanswered, so many fears unresolved. He thinks he is the most dangerous thing that can happen to her, but what if he's not...? (Rated M for adult content)


**MAJOR DISCLAIMER: Nothing about this story belongs to me: the plot, the characters, even the writing. Awhile ago, I found this story as an audiobook on Youtube, and as much as I like audiobooks, I much prefer to read my stories. So I did all the googling I could do, discovered it was written by someone called Maggie, but every link I tried to get to to read it was outdated or had moved or came up with an error. So I decided to put it out there on fanfiction (possibly again? Though I can't find it anywhere) for people to read, because DAYUM people, this is some good writing. Very, canon, very true to the characters, and just so eloquent. So here's the first chapter!**

…

"I miss you already," Bella murmured against my lips.

We laid intertwined on her small bed, a thick blanket between us to protect her from my cold skin. Bella had removed my shirt long ago, and now her left hand rested against my lower back, spreading vibrant warmth and energy through my core.

Her father slept in the next room, ignorant of my presence this night, and almost every night since I had returned to Forks.

"I don't need to leave. I can stay." I could not believe how time stood still while our lips were joined. And yet, time still traveled too quickly.

"Hmm…"

That simple sound was so delicious that I refused to speak again. Any further interruptions were inexcusable. Our mouths communicated more fluently than words, mine hard and unforgiving, and hers soft, and sweet, and sensual. They spoke of passion and need, and the immeasurable love we shared.

I opened my eyes, fascinated by the tiny blood vessels visible beneath the thin skin of her eyelids. The lush black lashes, where they fluttered against her flushed cheeks. The thick, dark hair that framed her heart-shaped face.

Bella's eyes opened, and our lips parted with a gentle sigh.

I drowned in her eyes… But drowning was a fate I embraced. I sank deeper and deeper, seeing the purity of her spirit, her goodness, her indomitable strength and courage. Every time I looked into her eyes, I fell in love again.

With her fingers buried in my hair, she pulled my face back to hers, our lips renewing their spontaneous dance.

"Definitely staying," I managed to whisper several heartbeats later.

"No, no, it's your bachelor party. You have to go." Her words were at odds with her body language. While she spoke, the fingers of her right hand twisted into my hair, and her other rested against the small of my back, pressing me lightly against her.

I stroked her face carefully, trying to find the perfect analogy for the feel of her skin under my fingertips. There were no words to do it justice.

"Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point."

This modern human tradition of gathering the male family members and friends together for a night of drunkenness and debauchery sounded neither fun nor attractive. Jasper and Emmett had been guarding their thoughts carefully, but I was fairly certain Alice and Rosalie would not stand for that type of revelry either.

"True." Bella seemed happy with my reasoning. Her warm breath on my throat sealed my decision. I was not leaving her bed unless I was forcefully removed.

Bella ran her hand softly down my body, her fingertips tracing the muscles of my chest and stomach. Her touch was feather-light and warm, sending a jolt of electricity through my frame.

My lips quickly found hers. Her tongue brushed across my bottom lip, delicious, tantalizing. I could not resist the sweet taste or the softness that caressed my mouth so invitingly. But I had to.

I pulled back slightly, giving us both space. However, her hands gripped my bare shoulders. I stopped, surprised.

"Wait," she said, pressing her body against mine. I felt her leg wrap around my waist, drawing me closer to her. The heat emanating from her body was doing strange things to me. I was starting to have trouble concentrating on anything other than the feel of her embrace. "Practice makes perfect," she continued.

Chuckling softly, I replied, "Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?"

We had spent every night in each others' arms, kissing, talking softly about our plans, our families, our favorite books and music. I worried about how little sleep she was getting, but whenever I pressed the topic, she found another subject that she had to question me about. It was gratifying to me that she didn't want to miss anything, that she wanted to spend every moment with me. My heart thrilled with the overwhelming love I felt for her, and the intense pleasure of having it returned.

"But this is the dress rehearsal, and we've only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing it safe," Bella purred with a playful smile on her lips.

My breath caught in my throat. Her voice was like smooth velvet, soft and seductive. I wanted her so deeply, that every fiber of my being ached with need. Self-control had never caused me so much pain. This desire was more primal than the hunt, more forceful than the sharpest thirst. I hungered for this with a fierce intensity that blinded me. It terrified me. How could I control this beast inside me?

I had almost surrendered to the monster within that thirsted for her blood. My self-control had been tested to its absolute limit, and only luck, and the love of my family, had saved Bella's life then. How could I control this titanic craving?

"Bella," I whispered, struggling to focus on speaking those two short syllables.

"Don't start that again. A deal's a deal." She spoke forcefully, with an edge of frustration in her voice.

I was frozen. The heat of our embrace chilled me now.

"I don't know. It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this." I could barely complete my sentence, desperately grasping at the words as my mind raced down long-worn paths of fear and panic. "I… I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt." I was rushing now, trying to make her see just how desperate I was feeling.

"I'll be fine," she reassured me.

How could she know? She had no idea of the battle I faced every second we spent together. She could not possibly understand how fragile she felt in my arms. How could she be so confident in my control, when I was walking a blade-thin edge of self-restraint?

"Bella," I was almost pleading with her now, panic plain on my face.

"Shh." Her lips pressed against mine once again, her determination, her obstinacy breaking through my concentration. I cautiously returned her kiss before pulling back with a wary smile.

"How are your feet?" I joked, desperate to redirect where this was going.

"Toasty warm." She smiled, rubbing her right foot gently along my calf. My self-control was dealt another small blow. I grasped at conversation as my lifeline now.

"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind," I pressed. Although I knew with Bella it was fruitless.

"Are you trying to ditch me?" Her tone was playful, but I detected a hint of annoyance in her words.

I chuckled again. "Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."

Her reply was immediate, and accompanied by a stubborn jut of her chin. "I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

 _Can you? Will you?_

I quickly redirected my train of thought, and directed the conversation to a different subject we had both agonized over for weeks, and months.

"Can you?" I spoke out loud this time. "I don't mean the wedding, which I am positive you will survive, despite your qualms. But afterwards. What about Renee? What about Charlie?"

She sighed. I watched her eyebrows pull together slightly in pain. Her brown eyes were troubled as she murmured, "I'll miss them."

"Angela and Ben? And Jessica and Mike?" I pressed on, dredging up the trappings of her human life that she seemed so determined to abandon.

"I'll miss my friends too," she replied, and then I saw her smile, her voice teasing, "Especially Mike… Oh, Mike, how will I go on?!"

I growled low in my throat, pretending to be jealous.

She laughed quickly at my response, but the humor was gone almost immediately.

"Edward, we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard. But this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

"Frozen forever at eighteen?" I whispered. She could not know how the spirits stagnated, how physical change ceased… She could not understand how the changes and aging of the human body were so closely interlinked with the growth and maturation of the mind. Even physical pain and injury could shape the longevity and fortitude of the spirit that makes a person stronger. Without struggle and strife, what catalyst was there to drive you forward? Vampires, once changed, were frozen in more ways than the physical.

"Every woman's dream come true," she teased.

I was not being facetious, and her light tone hurt. Melancholy settled over me as I thought of another sacrifice I knew she was making. She brushed off the loss of family and friends so easily, but how could she deny her birthright as a woman? I knew from Esme and Rosalie's heartbreak that sacrificing motherhood was a burden I did not want Bella to carry. She may not realize it now, but at what point would she register her loss? How could she look at me then, once it had already been stolen from her?

"Never changing, never moving forward…"

If she could only see what I was trying to show her… I desperately wanted her to understand, but I could not bring myself to lay all my concerns before her.

"What does that mean?"

My tone and manner had finally struck through her forced cheer.

I answered her slowly, gauging her reaction: "Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married, and he thought you were… Pregnant?"

"Yes, and he thought about shooting you," she laughed, "Admit it. For one second, he honestly considered it."

The image of a shotgun had crossed his mind, but I felt no humor at the thought. I prepared myself for my confession, completely unsure of how Bella would react.

"What, Edward?" Bella pressed.

"I just wish… Well, I wish he had been right."

Bella gasped. Her cheeks blushed red and her eyes opened wider in surprise. I knew that wasn't going to come out right. It wasn't that I wished Bella really was pregnant, then, but the thought of her standing next to me, her hand protectively over the swell of her stomach, was a dream I knew I would never have. More that, in some way, I wished that she could have been. That we had the potential.

"I hate taking that away from you, too." I would never hear the flutter of a tiny heart, or see her belly grow with the miracle of new life. I would never sit with her, thumbing through a book of names, matching them with Cullen to find the perfect combination. I would never sit by her side, rocking a tiny being in my arms while she slept... This was one gift I would never give her, a taste of humanity I would never share. While I could accept that loss for myself, stealing that future from the one woman I loved above all else was the most black-hearted theft imaginable.

Her eyes searched my face for a full minute before she responded.

"I know what I'm doing."

"How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother; look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you might imagine."

"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did. We'll adopt."

I sighed. Esme and Rosalie did _not_ get by just fine. They hid their pain well from the others, but I felt their loss every time they saw a human infant. I knew their memories, and relived their regrets. Theirs was a loss too great to put into words.

"It's not right. I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take them away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human…" Her soft fingers across my lips halted me mid-sentence.

"You are my future. Now stop. No moping, or I'll call your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you need a bachelor party," she threatened with a smirk.

"I'm sorry. I am moping, aren't I? Must be the nerves."

I wrestled my thoughts away from my regrets and guilt. There were so many other things that were weighing on my mind. Creating new problems served no purpose. I was already severely preoccupied with the question of whether Jacob Black would accept my invitation, and how the human guests would feel among the eleven golden-eyed vampires. Also, of course, the honeymoon was always in the back of my mind, tangled thoughts and fears of fulfilling my promise to Bella...

"Are your feet cold?" She glanced slyly down to the foot of the bed, where our feet were tangled in the blankets.

"Not in that sense. I've waited a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony's the one thing I can't wait-"

 _Come out, come out wherever you are!_ Emmett's mental call taunted me. From his point of view, I could hear Jasper's stealthy passage off to his right, and see the light to Bella's house up ahead.

Jasper's thoughts were quiet, showing me only the slightly altered perspective of their swift of approach.

"Oh, for the love of all that is holy!"

"What's wrong?" Bella was shocked and confused by my dark tone.

"You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."

Emmett's muffled laugh carried through the open window.

"Have fun." She held me tightly for a second before releasing me with a resigned smile.

I saw Emmett's jump in his mind the second before he sprang. Clinging to the narrow sill, he scraped his diamond-hard fingernails against the glass, letting out a bone-chilling screech.

I met his fiendish grin with a harassed glare.

"If you don't send Edward out, we're coming in after him," Emmett hissed.

"Go! Before they break my house!" Bella was laughing at my brother's antics.

Emmett dropped back to the ground with a quiet laugh.

With a long, suffering sigh, I rolled my eyes, dragged myself from her warm embrace, and shrugged into my shirt.

"Go to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow."

"Thanks. That's sure to help me wind down," Bella replied sarcastically.

I smiled, pausing as I considered ordering my brothers away, and falling back into her arms.

"I'll meet you at the altar," I vowed. Those words were like a rush of adrenaline in my veins. My whole body hummed in anticipation of that moment.

"I'll be the one in white." She wore a bland smile, but her attempt at nonchalance was ruined by the slight quaver in her voice.

"Very convincing," I chuckled, but I struggled to find the force of will to leave.

Saying goodbye to Bella always caused me pain, even if it was only for a short time. The anxiety I felt was partly due to my worry that she would be hurt in my absence, that I would not be there to insure her safety. But the stronger emotion was harder to define. I was afraid that she would change her mind somehow, that somewhere in her human thoughts, perpetually hidden from me, something would finally click, and she would realize the impossibility of our love. That she would no longer want to doom herself to an eternity with me, a monster.

Her love, her adoration, I could not deny their existence. But when I examined the intensity of my love and need for her, for every part of her mind, body and soul, I knew that there was no possible way for her love to be as great as mine.

I just could not exist without her. Such a cliche, but in my case, so completely true.

I committed the image of her sitting there in her bed to memory, her lips curved into a wry smile, her hair tangled and still damp from her shower, the rumpled, old t-shirt that she always wore in lieu of pajamas…

"Be safe," I spoke to her silently as I sprang out the window into the night.

My eyes instantly found Emmett, crouching next to a tall pine. I twisted in the air to land on him, my full weight striking him on the left shoulder. Emmett cursed, and I slugged him in the same shoulder.

"Watch your language, Em," I scowled.

"You'd better not make him late," we heard Bella speak softly from her window.

Jasper leapt lightly into the air, gripping the frame of her window as he replied.

"Don't worry, Bella, we'll get him home in plenty of time. We had to guilt trip him into coming with us tonight." _Not even the Volturi could keep him away from you tomorrow._ He finished the last thought in his head silently for my benefit.

I sensed the wave of calm reassurance he sent washing over Bella, and whispered, "Thanks, Jazz."

Her sheets rustled, and the bed creaked as she sat up and addressed Jasper.

"Jasper, what do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?" I could hear curiosity warring with a tinge of jealousy. Did she honestly think I would frequent such establishments? That I would have any desire to see any other woman in that way? I couldn't help the surge of hurt I felt. I shouldn't be offended. She had a legitimate question.

Emmett grappled me to the ground, taking advantage of my brief distraction to get his revenge.

"Don't tell her anything!" he growled.

I slipped out of his grip, snaking my foot behind his leg and bringing him down, hard.

 _Thud._

I snickered at his slightly bewildered look. "Gotcha."

"Relax," Jasper told her, "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."

"Thanks, Jasper," she responded, obviously relieved.

I heard her settle back into her pillow with a sigh, as Jasper dropped silently to the ground.

We raced down to Emmett's Jeep, where it had been parked in the deep shadows of an overgrown fir tree.

Emmett flung himself into the driver's seat, ignoring the off-road harness, and brought the powerful V8 to life. An upstairs light in a house blinked on two doors down, accompanied by the irate thoughts of a neighbor who had been awakened.

Emmett took full advantage of the upgrades Rosalie had installed as we raced out of town and took off into the forest, along an abandoned logging road. The closely planted trees hugged the road on either side, scraping against the sides of the Jeep. When the way become too crowded, we abandoned the vehicle and continued on foot.

Hunting was a neccesity tonight, for sure. Our house would be inundated with humans tomorrow, thanks to Alice's extensive guest list, and I personally didn't know how long it would be until I was able to hunt large game again.

Emmett teased me without mercy as we ran east toward the mountains. We steered clear of the trails, where hikers might be camping, angling farther south as we left civilization behind us.

Jasper ran wordlessly, keeping his thoughts carefully focused on the surrounding forest.

Many miles later, Emmett tired of his teasing, aggravated by my unresponsiveness. He launched himself toward me, trying to ram me into a tree. I caught the flicker of his thoughts and, at the last instant, dodged his assault. The aged evergreen was not so lucky.

Emmett crashed into it like a Juggernaut. The fourteen-inch thick trunk splintered and cracked. The towering tree came crashing down, knocking over two other trees. The twisting and snapping sounds were deafening as they echoed off the hills around us.

I raised my eyebrow at Emmett's shocked expression. His brow lowered into a threatening glare, and Jasper burst into loud guffaws.

"Cheater," he muttered under his breath.

I crouched in anticipation. He had not decided to attack yet, but it was there in his thoughts.

"Hold it," Jasper interrupted the imminent violence, still chuckling a bit. With a raised hand, Emmett and I froze. "Emmett, lay off for a minute. Edward, we wanted to get you alone tonight to hunt, but also, because I can tell you're really anxious about something. Carlisle said you may come to talk to us about something, but you never did. I can tell you're stressed out. I mean, of course you are; you're getting married tomorrow. But, Em and I just thought-if there's anything we can do or say to help you out-well, we're here for you."

I glanced at Emmett. He had straightened from his crouch and now leaned nonchalantly against a tree. He nodded once in agreement.

Glancing back at Jasper, I saw that he was honestly worried about me, and I thought about what Carlisle would have been referring to.

The forest was silent, still recovering from the aftermath of Emmett's horseplay.

My brothers were looking at me expectantly, waiting for a response. Realization dawned on me, and I was suddenly embarrassed.

I had cornered Carlisle many weeks ago, when Bella had first given me the ultimatum: She would only marry me if… I tried not to let my mind complete that thought.

Carlisle had patiently reassured me, always confident in my self-restraint. His trust had hurt, because I knew it was ill-founded.

Something must have shown on my face, because Emmett suddenly pushed away from the tree, and was in front of me in a fraction of a second. Two hands grasped me by the shoulders, and I looked up into his concerned eyes.

His eyes narrowed, and then his mouth turned into a smirk.

"Ha, are you kidding?! No freaking way! Was this your idea or hers?"His thoughts revealed that he had jumped to the correct conclusion. I saw the image of my face in his mind: Worry, guilt, and fear warring with anticipation and excitement.

He was definitely getting a lot of satisfaction out of my mortification.

A growl erupted from my throat before I could stem the sudden anger that was rising in me.

"Whoa, what a minute," Jasper intervened again, "You guys are gonna try after all? We all thought you were going to wait until she was changed."

My shoulders bowed under the hideous weight of my turmoil. I sank wearily to sit on a mossy boulder. With my elbows on my knees, I buried my face in my hands.

"She insisted," I said, my words muffled and barely audible, "It's the only way she would agree to marry me."

"Oh, tough break, bro." Emmett was his usual unstoppable, cheerful self.

"So, how are you going to manage that?" Jasper was curious, concerned.

I lifted my head to meet his worried glance.

"I don't know. I don't even know what to expect. I've never…"

"Wait!" Emmett interrupted, "Never? I mean, I know you turned Tanya down… I thought you were just choosy, but never?"

I shook my head wordlessly.

"Not even before you were changed?" he pressed.

I shrugged my assent. That stopped him. He was truly at a loss for words, both mental and verbal. The despair I was feeling was palpable, and I welcomed Jasper's calming influence.

I took two shuddering breaths before I responded.

"We're both… Virgins." The word was awkward and uncomfortable to say out loud.

From his thoughts, I knew Jasper had suspected as much, but Emmett was clearly astounded.

"Wow. That's all I can say. Wow."

Emmett looked at me again. _So I guess you're just gonna have to be ready to change her right then, right?_

His cavalier acceptance that I would injure Bella so badly infuriated me beyond words, and I sprang at him without thinking. My attack was more controlled than his had been, and I instantly had him by the throat, pressed up against the same tree he had just stepped away from. My jaw was clenched in rage, wishing he would fight back so I could channel some of the fear and pain away from myself.

However, he raised his hands in peace, patiently waiting for me to loosen my choke hold.

 _Easy, bro, I didn't mean to piss you off. I was just curious. I guess… I mean, you have a plan, right?_

My anger dissipated as quickly as it had come. I released him and turned away, dejected.

"I'm sorry." My words were a whisper.

"Would it help to talk about it?" Jasper interjected. "Maybe if you knew a bit more about what to expect, you wouldn't be so torn up. You might be able to handle it better, y'know?"

Emmett nodded in agreement.

I looked from one to the other, seeing their thoughts, astounded by the offer they presented. Their selfless gesture ignited a spark of hope within me.

My gratitude was heartfelt as my brothers stood close to me in the rain soaked forest, one on each side, with their hand on my shoulder. They loved me, and they cared deeply for Bella. Neither one of them envied my predicament, but they stood by me, supporting me, encouraging me.

Both Jasper and Emmett opened up to me, dredging up their most personal, intimate memories for me to understand. Time stood still as I relived some of the most powerful experiences of my brothers' lives.

I didn't feel like a voyeur. Instead, I was overwhelmed by the unconditional love and trust these men offered me. Truly, nobody in the history of the world had brothers like mine.

Emmett tried to compare what he felt during intimacy with the pure exhilaration of drinking human blood. It was too invigorating, too tempting a sensation to deny it, and yet, I thought, we all lived without that pleasure and fulfillment. I didn't think what I felt for Bella could be so easily controlled.

Jasper was more understanding of the emotional onslaught that came hand in hand with the union of two bodies. His love and adoration for Alice colored every memory with rich rainbow hues.

However, for Jasper and Emmett, their first times were distant, faded human memories. Dark and out of focus compared to the brilliance of vampire experiences.

Even so, it helped. Knowing helped.

Gradually, the rampart we shared slowed.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, and then another.

"Thank you, both." This time, my voice was stronger, and the anxiety had faded ever so slightly. I was still afraid, but hopeful that I would be able to control myself, and give Bella what she so desperately wanted.

Emmett grinned and slapped me on the shoulder. "No problem. Just don't tell Rosalie. She doesn't like to think about the "Other Girls", even though they were decades ago, before I even met her."

"Oh, believe me, this one goes to the grave. Figuratively speaking, of course. I would never betray your trust. I owe you so much more than that," I replied fervently.

Jasper hugged me quickly, pounding me on the back. "Come on. Let's hunt. I heard some campers spotted a mountain lion just north of Quinault this week. Let's help repay our debt to society."

"Your debt," Emmett snickered, "You've got decades worth of slaughtering innocents to make up for."

Jasper didn't respond to Emmett's barb. It was an obvious attempt to shift attention away from me. He never lifted his soothing pressure.

With a surge, and a fortifying breath of the pine-scented air, I followed them, settling in to an easy, ground-developing lope, and casting out my senses, searching for that signature musky scent.

…

Four hours later, we were scaling the icy cliffs of Mount Olympus, our thirst sated for now.

We playfully challenged each other to climb the rocky heights. The exertion was exhilarating, and we quickly reached the summit-which was ice-capped, even in August.

Facing the east, we watched as fingers of light crept up to reclaim the night sky. Streaks of amber and pink spread out, heralding the dawn. As the golden orb crested over the horizon, we were bathed in its pure brilliance.

I tipped my head back, reveling in the warmth of the breaking dawn. I stretched my arms high, my bare skin refracting the light, casting brilliant rainbows across the snowy expanse.

All worry was washed away, and my being sang with joy and anticipation.

Today I would be joined, mind, body and soul, with the most perfect of creatures. Laughter erupted from my chest and I embraced my brothers, ignoring their bemused expressions. Without hesitation, I threw myself down the mountain, eager to meet my bride.

A sound like thunder swelled behind me as Emmett barreled down the mountainside after me. Cracking and rumbling grew under my feet. I heard a string of expletives in Jasper's mind, but Emmett let out a whoop of excitement as tonnes of snow and ice collapsed under the pressure of our unexpected descent.

I rolled my eyes at his childish exuberance and flung myself forward, lightly gliding over the shifting surface. I left the sea of snowy ice chunks and boulders behind easily, disappearing into the relative shelter of the trees.

Jasper joined me seconds later, and we turned to watch Emmett, bouncing and cartwheeling down the slope, shouting and hollering with delight.

I couldn't help but laugh as his ride came to a shuddering end, and he leapt gracefully across the fractured remains of the avalanche with a grin on his face.

"Sorry, Edward. I guess I underestimated you. I thought I'd be bored out of my mind tonight, 'cause you're such a prude. But that was fun! I'll have to bring Rose up here one day and try that again."

I couldn't imagine Rose putting up with his antics, let alone joining in. It would destroy her hair, for one thing.

I caught myself rolling my eyes again, and traded glances with Jasper.

He just shook his head and shrugged.

We had only descended another two-hundred feet before we were enveloped by a thick layer of clouds.

Alice had foreseen that today would be free of rain, and even pleasantly warm for the ceremony. But this area of the peninsula was smothered with a thick layer of clouds. The tiny droplets clung to my clothes, and condensed on my cold skin.

I glanced at my brothers, who also had beads of moisture glistening in their hair, and soaking their clothes.

Between the horseplay, hunting, mountain-climbing, avalanche surfing and heavy clouds, we were going to be a mess when we finally made it home.

We returned to the Jeep at an easy pace, occasionally talking, but mostly traveling in silence.

I was lost in thought, and my brothers seemed to understand and respect my need for some time alone in my own mind. I frequently checked the position of the sun in the sky. It was only about ten am, and the wedding wasn't scheduled until late afternoon.

I knew Alice wouldn't hear of me seeing, or even talking to, Bella until she walked down the aisle. What was I going to do in the intervening hours?

The minutes stretched out before me, like the endless waves of the ocean. I swallowed hard, frustrated and anxious for the time to pass.


End file.
